The Republic's Foundation "Speranta" for children of Republic Moldova

By Helping the children today, we create our future

For Adults about children

Raising children is a successive process of uncompensated tranmission of our time, experience, hope and fruits of labour - to the younger generation. The problem of fathers and children has existed at all times; thus different generations and families had used different approaches in the education, communication and bringing up of their children. In our modern society, where parents spend all day at work, communication with the children does not take place at all, or it happens very seldom. It is replaced by the mass media, computers, televisions, friends, the streets and yards. Today if you ask any educated person the question - what childhood is, he will answer that childhood - is a period of intense development, changes and learning. The development of the community take place so dynamically that parents sometimes find it very difficult to orientate in the task about which qualities they themselves should have and what they can teach their own child for his successful integration into the society. The best thing we can give our children - is to teach them to love themselves. We easily and light-heartedly give birth to children, but we care so little about the creation and development of a personality. Throwing children away - is not necessarily sending them to children’s homes or to orphanage. This also includes not giving them support in different situations. The education and bringing up of children should be a great pleasure.

The most precious things adults have - are children. And almost every child loves and adores his family. But because of what problems arise and things go wrong? Sometimes adults do not listen to their children attentively, they act automatically. Then the child whose parents do not understand him, tries to find help elsewhere. Unfortunately, parents lose contact with their child. Very few parents are trying to be a friend to their child. It would be better, if adults should only not think that children - are the best things that they have, but they should say about it to the Children. Children need presents, praise, encouragement, and most importantly - spending time together with them. Without that, how can the child understand that he is needed and loved? It could be a joint housework at home, working outdoors in nature, design rooms for some holidays, repairing toys and books etc. A joint initiative,  preparation fof a joint concert, presents, surprises, drawing. Holidays, birthdays of the children, their parents, grandparents, sports and other holidays, cooperative games, reading books, going to the theatre. The world of adults can attract a child. He may not even be aware of that, he sees in the grown up person a perspective of his own development, he is looking for his ideal person  for imitation. The child needs the attention of an adult –  the first and foremost need of the child is communication - and he will need it throughout his life.
Ther are no rules on how to raise a child, which can be suitable for all occasions and life situations. All children are different. Every child is unique, and our relationships with him are also unique. But there are things that are contraindicated when communicating with any child, without exception:

1. Do not make hasty steps. Value the love of your child. Remember that there is just one step from love to hatredness.
2. Never humiliate the child. When you humiliate him, you form the skills of humiliation in himself, which he can use against other people. It is possible that it will be you.
3. Never threaten. The threat of an adult can force children to cheat, leading to fear and hatredness.
4. Don’t impose bans.  There is a spirit of rebellion in the nature of the child. What is categorically prohibited, is  what he really wants to try, so do not forget about that.
5. Do not patronize your child too much in a situation, where you can do without patronizing, give an opportunity to that small person  to become a big man independently.
6. Do not demand immediate obedience. Do not extort promises.
7. Do not indulge the child. Do not be led by your child, learn to comply with the measure of your love and the extent of your parental responsibilities.
8. Try to be consistent. It is good to be orientative and guided in your "Yes" and "No".
9. Do not demand what is not appropriate to the age of the child. Do not moralize, and do not say too much. Do not read to your child endless notations, he simply does not hear them. Develop a sense of humor in yourself.
10. Do not deprive the child of the right to remain a child.

When raising children and developing their self-discipline, we should not forget the fact that they are still children. Let's keep that right to them. Do not expect your child to be like you are. Or - as you want. Help him not to be like you, he shoule be himself. Do not take out your grievances on the child, what you sow, is what you are going to rip. Do not demand from the child to pay for everything that you do for him: You gave him life - how can he thank you? He will give his life to another child – this is an irreversible law of gratitude. Do not take his problems carelessly. Do not torture yourself if you cannot do something for your child. You may torture yourself if you can do something; but you don’t do it. Remember: you haven’t done enough for the child, if you haven’t done everything. Learn to love someone else's child. Don’t do to someone else’s child what you don’t want others to do to your own child. Love your child as he is; whether he is untalented, unlucky, bad or naughty. When talking to him, try to rejoice, because the child - is a holiday, which is still with you. Only the children know what they want. They eat with their hands, because it's so much fun. They draw or paint on wallpapers, making their room special. They do not want to be like everyone else. They –  are still children.

How to make your child happy

Tell your child:
I love you.
I love you, no matter what.
My love is always with you. If I could choose any child in the world, I would still chose you.
Thank you.
I like to play with you today.
Tell him:
The story of his birth or adoption.
How do you took care nof him when he was little.
The story about how you choose his name.
About yourself when you were in his age.
About how you met his grandparents.
What your favorite colours are.
What your plan is.
What you do.
Listen to:
Your child at all times.
What your child says about his toys, and think about how it is important to him.
Question, in which your child really needs your help.
One second longer than your patience can allowe you.
Feelings which stand behind the words of your child.
Why do you think this happened?
How do you think, what will be if .....?
What do you think about?
What is your most pleasant memory of the day?
How to do something, rather than to deny doing it.
How to whistle in the grass.
How to cut food.
How to fold clothes.
How to find information when you do not know the answer.
Affection to your spouse.
That taking care of yourself, looking after yourself is important.
Find time:
To look at the birds.
For your child to help you cook food.
To go to different places together.
To just sit with your child while he is playing.
Please your child:
Make a surprise and clean his room.
Put some chocolate in pancakes.
Put a meal or snack in the form of a smiley.
Make some sound effects when helping him to do something.
Play with them on the floor.
Loosen or release:
Feelings of guilt.
Your need to be right.
Give to:
Look at your child with kind eyes.
Smile when your child comes into the room.
Answer with mutuality and reciprocity when your child touches you.
Adjust the eye and body contact before you say something, this will help your child to really hear you.
You choose your favourite way to be kind to your child.

What you should actually do with the child, so that the memories of childhood would be bright and happy:

Show him sunbeams.
Observe how the seeds germinate and grow.
Slip together from a high snowy mountain.
Look at the stars.
Shade coins hidden under the paper.
Cut garlands and paper men.
Shadow a theater show.
Draw cartoons in the margins of exercise books.
Arrange a home in an empty box of a refrigerator.
Show focus and magic shows with electrified paper figures.
Write a blueprint.
Make a spray cap from bottles and make a battle.
Listen to the singing of birds.
Put clivers on the tide or river current, dig canals, dams and ponds.
Build slums and sheds.
Watch the sunrise and sunset.
Admire the Moon's path.
Look at the clouds and think, what they look like.
Make a weather vane and a trap for the wind.
Glow in the dark flashlights or torch lights.
Go fishing.
Leave imprints of the body in the snow.
Feed the birds.
Sit by the fire. Toast the bread on a twig.
Fly a kite.
Build a sand castle. Burrow yourselves in the.
Sit in the darkness, by candlelight.
Jump into the center of the puddle.
Write words and notes with milk.
Arrange a storm in a teacup.
Buriy some treasure in a bowl of porridge.
Communicate with the help of signs.
Leave grass in the nest of ants and then try the formic acid.
Squeeze biscuit and pastry molds.
String berries on a blade of grass.
Sing in chorus.
Repair or mend a favourite toy.
Blow soap bubbles.
Decorate the Christmas tree.
Whistle through the pod of acacia.
Make a dollhouse.
Climb a tree.
Make costumes and dress up.
Talk about dreams.
Release balloon into the sky.
Organize a party  for thechildren.
See the world through colored glasses.
Draw on a sweaty glass.
Jump into heaps of autumn leaves.
Start dinner with dessert.